When starting a new relationship, the question of reciprocity arises very quickly: what should I do for him? Why didn't he do it for me? It starts with the first phone calls - who called whom and when, continues with the question of who pays, who buys more gifts, who invests more in sex or says "I love you" more times.

Then comes the calculations of everyday life - who washed more dishes, folded more laundry or took out the garbage more times.

If you are chauvinists, (who think the woman should do everything) or feminists (I have to do everything? I'll show him what it is…), your life together can be complicated. But, those of us who want a mutual relationship and don't want to be reckoned with all day, are in a real dilemma.
This dilemma has a solution in two steps:

A. A relationship with myself

We recommend to my trainees (as I also did myself) to define their value system and how they intend to fulfill it in a relationship. If someone tells me that he wants love, I ask what he intends to do, to fulfill love in his life. If for him to love is to invest in sex, cool - let him invest! If for him it means buying gifts here and there - great, he will buy and so on in relation to all his/her values: giving/ respect/ joy of life, etc.

B. A relationship

We recommend making a clear coordination of expectations in relation to what we want to achieve in a relationship. What we want to give and also - what we want to receive. Honesty and openness of this kind will inevitably lead to honesty and openness from the other side as well.

This way it will be easier for both parties to know whether their expectations are compatible and whether it makes sense for them to continue together or not. At the same time, this type of communication raises the level of connection to a more conscious and deeper place. It is of course advisable to conduct this conversation gently, in the appropriate atmosphere and in a way that suits both spouses.

And.. yes - if you ask, it can be done already in the first or second meeting.