Obstacles to finding love

Are you single and looking for love? Are you having trouble meeting the right person? When you're struggling to find a love connection, it's all too easy to get discouraged or start clinging to destructive myths about dating and relationships.

Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you are ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.

For many of us our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Maybe you grew up in a household where there were no role models of a solid and healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists of only brief tips and you don't know how to have a relationship. You can be attracted to the wrong type of person or continue to make the same bad choices over and over because of an unresolved issue from your past. Or maybe you don't put yourself in the best environments to meet the right person, or when you do, you don't feel safe enough

The first step to finding love is reassessing some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.

Myths about dating

Myth: I can only be happy and fulfilled if I am in a relationship or that it is better to have a bad relationship than no relationship.

Fact: Although there are health benefits that come from being in a committed relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it is important not to get into a relationship just to "fit in". Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. And nothing is as unhealthy and distracting as in a bad relationship.

Myth: If I don't feel an immediate attraction to someone, it's not a relationship worth pursuing.

Fact: This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of inappropriate choices. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand in hand. Feelings can change and deepen over time, and friends change sometimes For lovers - if these relationships are given a chance to develop.

Myth: Women have different emotions than men.

Fact: Women and men feel similar things but sometimes express their feelings differently, often according to societal conventions. But men and women alike experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear and joy.

Myth: True love is permanent or physical attraction fades over time.

Fact: Love is rarely static, but that doesn't mean love or physical attraction is doomed to fade over time. As we age, both men and women have fewer sex hormones, but emotion often influences desire more than hormones, and sexual desire can become stronger over time.

Myth: I can change the things I don't like about someone.

Fact: You can't change anyone. People only change if and when they want to change.

Myth: I didn't feel close to my parents, so intimacy will always be uncomfortable for me.

Fact: It's never too late to change any behavior pattern. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act.

Myth: disagreements always create problems in a relationship.

Fact: Conflict does not have to be negative or destructive. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also provide an opportunity for growth in a relationship.

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a bond based on:

• Mutual respect
• Trust
• Honesty
• Support
• Fairness / equality
• Separate identities
• Good communication
• Affection

When you're looking for lasting love, forget what seems right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Am I good in this relationship?