The desire to get married is strong and permeates all of us from the dawn of childhood. We see the company of Noah's ark: couples couples. On Purim we tend to dress up as brides and daydream about the happy day when the prince will come and redeem us from all our frustrations and with a wave of the hand (the moment we put the ring on our finger decorated with a French manicure) all the heartaches will disappear and in their place a new dawn of the beginning of a rosy life will break.

These dreams are backed by Hollywood movies and maybe it's time to sue these producers, the tickling script writers who want to fuel our dream, because everyone thinks: 'It will work for me. I will be successful in a relationship like the couple I saw in "Love Story"'. Then, runners marry the wrong person and as in a well-known script too many times it ends in divorce.

What to do? Avoiding a wedding? Decide to sit on the fence for the rest of your life? No!! But draw conclusions. You look at a relationship with love, passion, mutual respect, but also with sober and realistic eyes and don't want to marry the first man who proposes and think he's nice or masculine or hot or makes butterflies in the stomach.

No groom, no meaning to life

At least once a week, I meet a girl who looks good, well-groomed, intelligent, has a prosperous career or works in a desirable job, sometimes financially established but stressed about marriage regardless of her age. She is in a kind of romantic wasteland and has no action in her love life. She forgot what courtship is, a stormy kiss, a romantic outing and what it's like not to sleep diagonally in bed. The frustration is intense and hurts all the joys of life because the goal: marriage. It is placed at the top of the list of priorities and the rest is faded and not considered. If there is no potential groom, life has no value. Those women see nothing. Their only goal is one: a groom.

Get out of the pressure I offer a completely different way of thinking - the way that will bring the long-awaited relationship: home inspection. Every girl stressed about a groom should check why she is so stressed. She must lower the level of unrealistic expectations and understand that it is more important to choose the right groom and not to give in to social pressure such as: "all the best friends are married".

Did you find out how they got married or if they made the right choice? If you find out, you're in for a surprise. Many live in frustration and pay a heavy price for making the wrong choice. A stressed girl transmits the stress on the first date. She is not aware of it, but the first meeting actually knocks her out. There's nothing to be done, pressure is a dominant thing and a man feels it and wonders for himself because men are so reluctant to get married and they will come back precisely after a girl who is not pressured to marry - these are the laws of nature.

Have fun

For a girl who is stressed about marriage, I suggest meeting a guy in a dance bar over a glass of beer or a soft drink in a light atmosphere, sit for an hour and have fun talking and enjoy the music. Precisely here, the stress of marriage will bring out other aspects of her character, which will make the guy turn on. I suggest that she devote an hour every day to surfing the Internet and schedule at least three short meetings a week after work on the road. In this way, the chances of meeting someone suitable will increase.

Give a second and third chance

I suggest to every girl to be realistic and not rush to kill good, shy or introverted guys, give them a chance. This man can be a rough diamond that if you give him a chance he will be the man of your life. Give a chance to click from a second or third look, otherwise you miss the knight of dreams and fly to a second and third meeting and the frustration only increases.

Meet good guys

Girls are not aware of what they have to offer and what their mental structure is. For kind-hearted girls who tend to give everything and receive nothing, I suggest meeting kind-hearted guys who will know how to appreciate giving and not take advantage.

They often appreciate the problematic men, whose relationships with them only lead in one direction - doom and heartbreak until there is no desire left to know anyone else.

Expand the grocery list

More than once a girl tells me that a guy sent her a picture in an email and he's a snotty type and she actually prefers a blonde with blue eyes. But in the grocery list these points are less decisive and the character is more important. Therefore, go for a cup of coffee with the brunette, listen to him, check if he is emotionally available, if he is pleasant, if he is at all available for a relationship, and then your chances of being with someone potential will increase.

Adapt the fantasy to reality

There are women who are still captive in the fairy tales and they dream of someone blonde, tall, shapely, pampering, giving, rich and fascinating, but they don't check what he has to offer. They just know they want one. To all those who fantasize, I suggest going to the show: "I love you. Let's … break up?". In the course of an hour and a half you will be captivated by the show that brings up all the struggles of the singles. Among other things, a girl is looking for a man there who doesn't exist: "Needs a sophisticated man who appreciates the beauty of simplicity, a funny man who recognizes the importance of seriousness, a goofball who doesn't break from the routine, calm with a stormy soul, who knows how to touch the right places, outside and inside"

Well, such a man has not been born yet and if you find him, let us know immediately.

The show will put you in a different mood, to a deep understanding that it is necessary to make a more realistic list of visual and internal qualities, adapted to what the Holy One, blessed be He, issued in our world and not what the Hollywood legends concocted in our minds. This is the first step to finding a relationship. This is also true for men who are looking for a perfect partner, which does not exist in the real world.

Calm stressful relatives

To anyone whose parents and relatives, friends and co-workers press on the subject of the swaying and disturbing peace - marriage - answer in one of several ways: "I am dating someone and I am trying to see if he is suitable for a serious relationship and we might move in together" Or: "I ended contact and I intend to attack the subject again soon. It's not easy to find someone suitable, and if you have someone available who you think is suitable for me, I'd love to get to know you. Or: "I am finishing my demanding studies this year, and then I will turn to the important subject of finding a relationship."

Parents especially should say: "Don't stress me. I do a lot to find a relationship, but considering that every second couple gets divorced these days, I want to be more careful." As soon as you answer assertively, I promise you that they will stop harassing you.